BEET RACE CANCELLED!

PALM SPRINGS, CA — First announced in Coos Bay, Oregon, the Beet Race, a unique form of race- car competition where the vehicles hurl cooked beets at one another, has been permanently cancelled, organizers revealed recently. The unique competition has been plagued by problems, mostly weather-related, since it was announced three weeks ago. Heavy rain and wind warnings along the Pacific Coast caused the event to be cancelled and rescheduled several times, but organizers found the constant postponements were unnerving for the cars and inconvenient for themselves.

It is not clear what kind of beets are used, who cooks them, how the cars actually hurl the vegetables, or who cleans up afterwards, but locals in several communities in Oregon and Calilfornia have expressed enthusiastic curiosity about the possibilities.

Originator of the event, a young man who would only identify himself as H, refused to go on camera to elaborate on the inspiration for the race, details of its operation, or the cancellation, explaining that if he did so, "The cars would think it was ugly."

Observers say that resurrection of the event is unlikely.

RIP, Beet Race.